I'm not sure how many more Christmases I'll have with him before he stops believing. Fortunately for me, Clayton is a very naive kid (which I love because I think that nowdays kids grow up WAY to fast so you'll excuse me if I encourage my kids to stay naive about the 'ways of the world' for as long as I possibly can) so I'm hopeful that we'll have at least two or three left.
Right now Clayton is trying to grow and show his independence. We are starting to have power struggles at our house where there were none (at least with him) before. He's trying to take more control of his life - where he goes, who his friends are, what activities he does and does not want to participate in, what time he should be going to bed and waking up, etc. The list goes on. At times these struggles for independence cause problems. I want him to become more self-sufficient and self-motivated but ultimately, I'm the parent and obedience is key. He will try to reason with Justin and myself in order to get his way. Sometimes it works and is wonderful when we are able to compromise and treat him like an adult; sometimes it's a nightmare that ends with frustrated parents and a boy in time out who is cursing the unfairness of life at the top of his lungs. Although, I will say, even when life is "unfair", he has never once told Justin or myself that he "hates" us. I have heard other kids (much younger) tell their parents that they "don't like" them or "hate" them even. I've been mentally bracing myself for that over the last few years and so far my kids have been very good at keeping it out of their vocabulary. I love that even when we're all mad at each other (because it happens), I know that they still love me and they know that I still love them.
With all this growth and change, there are several things that remain consistent about my Clayton. These are the traits that I hope, hope, hope he carries with him into adult-hood. He's very inclusive. I've been waiting for him to catch "girls are yucky"-itis. It is certainly an afflicition that has been plaguing his brother for the better part of a year now but Clayton doesn't seem to have it yet. He wants to be friends with everyone. Boys, girls, people who are older, kids who are younger, kids with disabilities, kids who are "popular", and kids who are not. He just doesn't seem to notice a difference in these people. One of my most favorite stories about him right now (and I don't think I've actually ever shared this before right now - it's just really special to me) is when I took him to the grocery store at the end of the summer. There was a teenage boy bagging groceries who was very obviously handicapped. His legs were twisted and he relied on a cane to get around. Additionally, he had a large dark birthmark on his face. As I was checking out, Clayton went over to watch the bagboy. As I'm sure every parent does in similar situations I was saying a silent prayer, 'please don't let him say something to hurt this boy's feelings'. However, as I listened to Clayton he didn't once bring up the boys birthmark or the fact that he didn't move around like Clayton did. Instead, Clayton talked to him about how he liked his job, what his favorite groceries were, what he was doing over the summer, etc. He kept up a constant stream of conversation with this stranger. The checkout woman was listening also and as I was paying she commented to me, "You have a really special boy!" I thanked her and smiled and when we left Clayton was so happy that he'd made a new friend. I don't think I'll ever forget that. I hope that Clayton is always able to see people for who they are inside. It's such a gift and I pray that I am able to help him cultivate it.
He is also still a very sensitive kid. Sometimes it translates to whiney and that's not my favorite, but he's very in tune with the feelings of others. I think this is partly what makes him a good friend.
He's the most easygoing kid I have. Noah is as stubborn as they come, Josie's full of drama, and Sammie's a baby (which isn't quite so easy) so it's a blessing to have a kid that will mostly go with the flow and be happy to be along for the ride.
Bottom line: I have an amazing son. We're entering a rough transition for sure but, as everything else has proven to be, I know that we'll get through it with minimal scars and bruises (we'll save the battle wounds for Noah and Josie).
One more favorite thing about him right now. This year for Christmas he's asked for relatively little. The things he has asked for haven't been expensive. No electronics, nothing big, nothing extravagent. All around him, kids are expecting very specific things from Santa. Things that they might get angry about not receiving. Not Clayton. I've been saying all season that Clayton is the kind of kid who will just be happy on Christmas morning when he has anything under the tree and it's true. Maybe it's that Justin and I have just set the bar exceptionally low, but I like to think it's because that's his personality. A happy go lucky kid who feels overjoyed with any gift whether it's big or small, expected or not.
Since I've done a series with 'The Faces of Noah' and 'The Faces of Josie', I thought this would be a great place to add 'The Faces of Clayton'.
Goofy thumbs up face:
2 comments:
That Grocery Store story was so sweet! Clayton really is a great kid!
Enter: TEARS! That was a beautiful tribute. He is a special boy!!
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